drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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