I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize