I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize