K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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