K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize