Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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