i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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