tell your sister to shave her snatch
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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