just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize