I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize