All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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