Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize