Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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