no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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