my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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