What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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