Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize