Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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