i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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