I just made out with a guy for $7.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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