I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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