Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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