Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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