I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize