There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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