i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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