Pants 0. Shit 1.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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