I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize