that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize