Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She said her name was "party"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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