Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
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I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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