nut hugger
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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