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What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
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