I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize