My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize