Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it because I queefed?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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