Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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