My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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