He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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