U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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