I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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