Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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