i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize