Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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