Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize