I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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