am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
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Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize