Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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