I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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