I'm eating all of the evidence.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize